It's been too long since I sat down to blog. The summer travels are thankfully over and before I knew it fall/winter in CO has hit. Life has def kept me busy and blogging has sadly fallen down lower and lower on my "to-do list."
I had the amazing opportunity this past week to accompany Leea to a mother-daughter pajama party at her homeschooling school. She attends one full day a week and has so for the past month. Rocky Mountain Classical Academy has really allowed her to blossom in making friends, accepting instruction from an adult that isn't her father or myself, improved her reading skills and has even taught her how to deal with a bully.
Anyway, we went together to the mother-daughter pajama party, just the two of us. That alone was incredible enough. We don't get to do much just the two of us anymore, between church, church activities, family and a younger brother and sister. Daddy rocked out with Carson and Riley while Leea and I enjoyed ourselves at the party.
I sat down at a table with several other moms who were playing card games (all the girls were playing board games together). I was in hopes to make a new friend or two, at least get to know some of the other moms. Many of them have been doing the RMCA program for the past 5 years and I am a newbie. After some light conversation and a few laughs, one of the mom's asked me if I love homeschooling. I myself was surprised at my own hesitation to respond. I didn't know what to say. Why didn't I know what to say? Do I love it? If I do I should just say so. If I don't I need to figure out why and fix it...right?
As I'm having my personal revelation of sorts, another mom not only picked up on but announced my delay in responding. "Oh no,that's real hesitation! Why isn't it going well? Do you not love it?" Following came a wave of aaawwww's and oooohhhh's. Not exactly the first impression I was hoping to make and I needed to recover.
I explained that I have two other kids at home to care for, a very brief summery of Riley's health issues (if there is such a thing) and therapies, being a military wife and how that alone consists of lots of changes. I knew though that I hadn't totally answered the question asked. Do I love homeschooling? Truth is, I constantly beat myself up over what I think homeschooling should be,if I did enough that day, where I lack, the struggles we've had with schooling and a very sick baby for an entire year plus.
Several mom's lent their encouragement and understanding throughout the remainder of the evening. I slowly began to lose the feeling of being a newbie and hurt pride from confessing my less than perfect homeschooling ventures. I heard many other stories from other moms that have been there and done that. But then I realized....
We set out to homeschool our kids because it's about obedience to what we know God has told us to do with our kids. It's about our beliefs, our convictions. It's about the freedoms we have as homeschooling parents. We do what we want, when we want. We do field trips, projects, family time, pj days, sleeping in, getting up early, staying up late, lessons and no lessons. We have the freedom to be together as much as possible, to love every minute of our family being around each other. Somewhere along the way though, I lost sight of those freedoms. I became hard, critical of myself, unforgiving of my weaknesses. I know that isn't at all what God has intended for me to feel. He has blessed me with such freedoms with our kids that many don't have. If I don't love homeschooling, it's because I've yet to embrace those very freedoms. After doing a good bit of soul searching over the last few days on my response or there lack of, I think I really do love it. In fact, I know I do:)
Nichole
Monday, November 15, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
WHOOO-HOOOO!
As most of you know our family has been physically seperated for the last 6 months as daddy was schooling it up with the army. As of last night, our family is back together! I'm so happy to have my husband home, my helper and my love! I'm also so happy to have a computer back as I've been super excited to catch up on blogging! I have tons to post, even more pics to share and lots to read up on! As for now, I'm off for family activties! Thanks for keeping up with us and for your prayers!
Nichole
Nichole
Sunday, September 19, 2010
It's been too long!
Boy have I missed blogging! I sit now at one of my dearest friends house in SC trying to prepare for this last week in SC before returning to CO. I must keep my head in the game! The kids and I have been traveling for 2 entire months! It's been a long time to be out and about, away from home but we've made it!
We have visited a ton of family and friends. We have been so blessed by the company of those we've been able to see. We've been staying with Port's dad WAY out in the country where internet and cell phone reception are nearly unheard of! I've been out of my element to say the least but I try hard to hang on the the principle that as Christians we are called to live a life out of our comfort zones. We have to get out of the boat!
We've been to Atlanta, NC and KY in the two months of being on the go.Riley of course has continued to be sick with severe asthma,allergies, an ear infection and most recently pneumonia. Good thing I packed her nebulizer! We've taken a break from schooling for the most part and have just taken the time to enjoy a different kind of life. We spent a week with my amazing husband and now it must be enough to carry me through until we are together again.
I've learned a lot of the last 2 months. I continue to strive to be more accepting of my faults, caring less of what others think of me(including the world) and more comfortable in my own skin. I've had a lot of time to think, to really hear what God is saying and to figure out who I am and who I want to be. Thankfully, we are all works. Though I get that home for me is not on this earth, I also think there is something to be said for being in a place you call yours, a safe place, a sanctuary, a place where I wait for my husband to return from another months in the field, a most recent deployment.
I have become more thankful and my eyes have been opened to things I didn't even know existed. I have learned so much from those around me and even what real genuine friendship is about. Let's be thankful friends. Let's not judge until we've walked a mile in that person's shoes. Let's strive to be who Christ created us to be.
Never did I ever imagine that I would trade the ocean for my mountains!
We have visited a ton of family and friends. We have been so blessed by the company of those we've been able to see. We've been staying with Port's dad WAY out in the country where internet and cell phone reception are nearly unheard of! I've been out of my element to say the least but I try hard to hang on the the principle that as Christians we are called to live a life out of our comfort zones. We have to get out of the boat!
We've been to Atlanta, NC and KY in the two months of being on the go.Riley of course has continued to be sick with severe asthma,allergies, an ear infection and most recently pneumonia. Good thing I packed her nebulizer! We've taken a break from schooling for the most part and have just taken the time to enjoy a different kind of life. We spent a week with my amazing husband and now it must be enough to carry me through until we are together again.
I've learned a lot of the last 2 months. I continue to strive to be more accepting of my faults, caring less of what others think of me(including the world) and more comfortable in my own skin. I've had a lot of time to think, to really hear what God is saying and to figure out who I am and who I want to be. Thankfully, we are all works. Though I get that home for me is not on this earth, I also think there is something to be said for being in a place you call yours, a safe place, a sanctuary, a place where I wait for my husband to return from another months in the field, a most recent deployment.
I have become more thankful and my eyes have been opened to things I didn't even know existed. I have learned so much from those around me and even what real genuine friendship is about. Let's be thankful friends. Let's not judge until we've walked a mile in that person's shoes. Let's strive to be who Christ created us to be.
Never did I ever imagine that I would trade the ocean for my mountains!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
When we said Yes
During Port's last tour to Iraq in 2008, we said yes. We said yes to each other and we said yes to God. We said yes to live a life of being holy, raising our children in God's ways, teaching them of his love. We said yes to having a godly marriage, doing things His way. We aren't perfect and more times that not, it's so stinkin hard.
We got real with each other and with God during this time but we had no idea what laid ahead of us. We didn't know that many times when you say yes to God, what we deal with here on earth can go to crap, fall apart and just be rotten.
We felt God strongly calling us to continue with the army but to really step it up a notch. Our calling is to the military and beyond but really focusing on the military that needs to hear the news of Christ and how He came to save them. We renewed our contract with the army and my personal calling became quite clear. As an army wife I must be an example, a leader to the other ladies. Together Port and I need to show them how good life can be, how you can be in love with your spouse every day, you can raise your kids in a good home, a home where we serve Him and only Him. No matter Port's rank, even if he wasn't an officer, my job is the same and it goes hand in hand with my job here at home.
Since that time we felt God stirring our hearts to home school. We said yes once again and agreed that this was the way for our family. It's been an uphill challenge the whole way as we've dealt with much since making this huge move.
We gave up a baby that we were never able to see and hold but wanted to so badly. God blessed me with a vision of her that I will never have far from my heart. We went thru the most horrible procedure imaginable to us and laid her mentally and spiritually at the alter of God with our church family holding us close.
Port later felt the calling to teach a bible study thru our church but to the college and campus people. For months every week we paid a sitter and met at UCCS with a group of believers and those who didn't. We handed this huge project to another couple who shared in our vision for the group when port received an assignment consisting of schools that would take him away from home.
We were later blessed with our Riley girl who most of you know has had one health issue after another. Leea's schooling has suffered in many ways bc of the time and care Riley needs on a daily basis. Twice we felt God saying to physically her to the alter. The same alter we laid an unborn baby girl named Hannah just a year before. We gave Riley to God, entrusting Him but praying for her healing. We laid her on His alter and took our hands off her, literally to symbolize to us and God that she is totally His.
I gave family members to God to let Him move, taking myself out of the equation until he put me back in. We learned a lot of lessons last year alone about family. It's so hard to know that YOU can't save anyone. They have to want it first. I walked away with my heart in a million pieces in my hands only to wait for months for Port to return so we could deal together. My scars as as fresh today as they were last summer. My hurt continues each day but I don't give up hope. Again, I leaned on my church family. I leaned on my God.
We have endured many physical separations due to the army's calling for Port and what he must fulfill. Most of our biggest family decisions have been made in a series of phone calls and email. It's not really ideal but is the way it must be. Our marriage has had one defining hurdle to overcome non stop for the last 2 1/2 yrs. It seems we have stayed in the fire if you know what I mean. I have prayed at times for a break from it, yet I know that our perseverance glorifies our Father.
My health is the worst it's ever been. Sparing some detail, I continue to pray daily for a healing, that God will either open or shut doors for upcoming surgeries for me.
My point in sharing all of this is not to boast, complain or air our dirty laundry as some may say. My mind for the most part is unable to process and understand all there is concerning spiritual warfare. I only know that it's very real. I can tell you for a fact that our family has dealt with it on a daily basis without relent for what feels like much too long.
In all of this, I know and believe totally that God has allowed every bit for He is our creator and ruler. Our lives are God filtered. It's when the craziness starts, when the trials come, when the pain is so intense I can't breath, when the heat is on so high it burns, that I know we are doing what we should be for Christ.
I encourage you my friends to keep on. Keep on and run the good race. Take comfort in that you are not alone in the trials and problems you face today. It's all temporary and this too will pass. I have seen so many lately back away, turn an assignment down because of fear, because of the unknown, because of the attack you are under. Don't let that be you!
Nichole
We got real with each other and with God during this time but we had no idea what laid ahead of us. We didn't know that many times when you say yes to God, what we deal with here on earth can go to crap, fall apart and just be rotten.
We felt God strongly calling us to continue with the army but to really step it up a notch. Our calling is to the military and beyond but really focusing on the military that needs to hear the news of Christ and how He came to save them. We renewed our contract with the army and my personal calling became quite clear. As an army wife I must be an example, a leader to the other ladies. Together Port and I need to show them how good life can be, how you can be in love with your spouse every day, you can raise your kids in a good home, a home where we serve Him and only Him. No matter Port's rank, even if he wasn't an officer, my job is the same and it goes hand in hand with my job here at home.
Since that time we felt God stirring our hearts to home school. We said yes once again and agreed that this was the way for our family. It's been an uphill challenge the whole way as we've dealt with much since making this huge move.
We gave up a baby that we were never able to see and hold but wanted to so badly. God blessed me with a vision of her that I will never have far from my heart. We went thru the most horrible procedure imaginable to us and laid her mentally and spiritually at the alter of God with our church family holding us close.
Port later felt the calling to teach a bible study thru our church but to the college and campus people. For months every week we paid a sitter and met at UCCS with a group of believers and those who didn't. We handed this huge project to another couple who shared in our vision for the group when port received an assignment consisting of schools that would take him away from home.
We were later blessed with our Riley girl who most of you know has had one health issue after another. Leea's schooling has suffered in many ways bc of the time and care Riley needs on a daily basis. Twice we felt God saying to physically her to the alter. The same alter we laid an unborn baby girl named Hannah just a year before. We gave Riley to God, entrusting Him but praying for her healing. We laid her on His alter and took our hands off her, literally to symbolize to us and God that she is totally His.
I gave family members to God to let Him move, taking myself out of the equation until he put me back in. We learned a lot of lessons last year alone about family. It's so hard to know that YOU can't save anyone. They have to want it first. I walked away with my heart in a million pieces in my hands only to wait for months for Port to return so we could deal together. My scars as as fresh today as they were last summer. My hurt continues each day but I don't give up hope. Again, I leaned on my church family. I leaned on my God.
We have endured many physical separations due to the army's calling for Port and what he must fulfill. Most of our biggest family decisions have been made in a series of phone calls and email. It's not really ideal but is the way it must be. Our marriage has had one defining hurdle to overcome non stop for the last 2 1/2 yrs. It seems we have stayed in the fire if you know what I mean. I have prayed at times for a break from it, yet I know that our perseverance glorifies our Father.
My health is the worst it's ever been. Sparing some detail, I continue to pray daily for a healing, that God will either open or shut doors for upcoming surgeries for me.
My point in sharing all of this is not to boast, complain or air our dirty laundry as some may say. My mind for the most part is unable to process and understand all there is concerning spiritual warfare. I only know that it's very real. I can tell you for a fact that our family has dealt with it on a daily basis without relent for what feels like much too long.
In all of this, I know and believe totally that God has allowed every bit for He is our creator and ruler. Our lives are God filtered. It's when the craziness starts, when the trials come, when the pain is so intense I can't breath, when the heat is on so high it burns, that I know we are doing what we should be for Christ.
I encourage you my friends to keep on. Keep on and run the good race. Take comfort in that you are not alone in the trials and problems you face today. It's all temporary and this too will pass. I have seen so many lately back away, turn an assignment down because of fear, because of the unknown, because of the attack you are under. Don't let that be you!
Nichole
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
momma's happy thoughts list:)
This past year we've been trying to get our 6 yr old to sleep in her own bed, in her room. She has a beautiful room that we've worked so hard on just for her but apparently it takes more than that these days. I've given up for now bc with all our moves/travels it's just too much of a big deal to get bedtimes and kids in their beds. However, back when this momma was on a mission I created a "Leea's Happy Thoughts List." We sat together and she named for me all the things in life that make her feel happy, special, excited, blessed ect.and taped it to on the wall of her room for her to see from her bed. Then I thought, hey I should do the same for myself! So without any further prolonging, I give you, "Momma's Happy Thoughts List."
1) my awesome hubby and I will celebrate 9 yrs of marriage this Sept!
2) at the end of the day, all 3 kiddos just want to be in bed with me!
(pretty amazing considering that they've put up with me all day)
3) I have the best group of friends a girl could ask for!
4) I am married to an inspiring, Godly, caring, generous, driven family man!
5)even in our trials and changes I can see God working in our family and in our home.
6) at the age of 28, I have found the bra I have always been looking for, yay GapBody!
7) my family is complete and my eternity is sealed;)
These are just a few on my list....the cool thing is that I could go on and on! A merry heart produces a thankful spirit! Count your blessings girls!
1) my awesome hubby and I will celebrate 9 yrs of marriage this Sept!
2) at the end of the day, all 3 kiddos just want to be in bed with me!
(pretty amazing considering that they've put up with me all day)
3) I have the best group of friends a girl could ask for!
4) I am married to an inspiring, Godly, caring, generous, driven family man!
5)even in our trials and changes I can see God working in our family and in our home.
6) at the age of 28, I have found the bra I have always been looking for, yay GapBody!
7) my family is complete and my eternity is sealed;)
These are just a few on my list....the cool thing is that I could go on and on! A merry heart produces a thankful spirit! Count your blessings girls!
Friday, July 23, 2010
our tiny rock star ;)
That's right....I said we've got GOOD news! This week Riley had another handful of appointments. We met with a PT therapist on Wednesday who did a PT evaluation of Riley. The goal was to see how often she would need therapy and for what. I was excited about receiving a customized treatment plan for her. After over an hour of talking with the therapist, watching her do lots of neat activities with Riley she gave me her report. Riley is having trouble still with gross motor skills (throwing a ball, sitting with correct posture, waving bye bye) but is a rock star at fine motor skills (putting pennies in a piggy bank, putting cheerios in a tiny bottle, holding a crayon). She will likely need leg and feet braces in the future. She has learned to walk but her balance has been very affected by her ear troubles, resulting in a curved alkalies heel.She has some poor muscle structure, again due to all her sicknesses that will strengthen over time as we work with her. At this time Riley needs no therapy at all, just time to grow and learn!
On Thursday we met with a speech therapist. I was super nervous about this one as Riley doesn't talk at all and she's 15 months! After two hours of watching, talking, listening, and seeing what she can do, we got the report for this one as well. Riley is able to hear but not at a normal level. She can't hear quiet noises. We don't know that this is permanent or not, time will tell. At this time she needs no therapy for this either! We were told again that she just needs time to grow and learn. Because of all her ear troubles her speech is totally delayed but she's pointing and trying to communicate in other ways.
On Friday we met with her pediatrician who looked over all the reports and agrees with the therapists. Riley will be re-evaluated again in 6-12 months with the possibility of leg and feet braces and a food clinic to improve her diet and weight gain.
Today we received the call we've been waiting for, Riley's CF blood test is negative! She has been given the clear to travel to the east coast with no therapies needed. She finally gets to just grow and be a baby. While she doesn't do everything like most other babies or even you and I, her brain is working over time according to the therapists, allowing her to learn quickly and adjust to doing things her own way.
Now I'm down to 8 days before traveling across the east coast with the kiddos and doing even more travels while we are there. I'm making purchases and lists like a mad woman. The kids have their own duffel bags with wheels, travel pillows and art supplies.
I'm asking for your input on 2 things: what is the best way to pack for such a trip where we will be almost constantly traveling for months, suggestions, tips ect. Also, please take a look at the new and improved family blog and let me know what you think of the design, my posts ect. I'm learning a lot and I've changed a lot on the blog and I know I'm not done. Thanks for reading and for your prayers over the last 15 months for our tiny rock star, Riley girl!
On Thursday we met with a speech therapist. I was super nervous about this one as Riley doesn't talk at all and she's 15 months! After two hours of watching, talking, listening, and seeing what she can do, we got the report for this one as well. Riley is able to hear but not at a normal level. She can't hear quiet noises. We don't know that this is permanent or not, time will tell. At this time she needs no therapy for this either! We were told again that she just needs time to grow and learn. Because of all her ear troubles her speech is totally delayed but she's pointing and trying to communicate in other ways.
On Friday we met with her pediatrician who looked over all the reports and agrees with the therapists. Riley will be re-evaluated again in 6-12 months with the possibility of leg and feet braces and a food clinic to improve her diet and weight gain.
Today we received the call we've been waiting for, Riley's CF blood test is negative! She has been given the clear to travel to the east coast with no therapies needed. She finally gets to just grow and be a baby. While she doesn't do everything like most other babies or even you and I, her brain is working over time according to the therapists, allowing her to learn quickly and adjust to doing things her own way.
Now I'm down to 8 days before traveling across the east coast with the kiddos and doing even more travels while we are there. I'm making purchases and lists like a mad woman. The kids have their own duffel bags with wheels, travel pillows and art supplies.
I'm asking for your input on 2 things: what is the best way to pack for such a trip where we will be almost constantly traveling for months, suggestions, tips ect. Also, please take a look at the new and improved family blog and let me know what you think of the design, my posts ect. I'm learning a lot and I've changed a lot on the blog and I know I'm not done. Thanks for reading and for your prayers over the last 15 months for our tiny rock star, Riley girl!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A week from Crazyville!
Yep...it's REALLY been that crazy busy around here. Truth be told, I've been working for some time to learn a lesson some of my other mom friends have already seemed to mastered quiet well....figuring out what I need to cut out from our schedules and what to add more of. It's that whole trying to be the best mom and wife you can be thing, lol. My Leea has seemed to imitate me more and more with each day that Port has been gone which is pretty scary but also keeps me on my toes more!
I am one that needs a plan, not a huge routine, but a plan. With a baby like Riley having a routine tends to be more stressful, but a plan is a must for me! EVERYTHING with our lives is still very much up in the air as we continue to wait for orders, Riley's test results ect.
This week Riley had 3 major appointments of which we don't know much about when it comes to results. She had a sweat test for CF on Monday which was useless as for the 4th time, she didn't sweat. She had a hearing test and eval on Tuesday, which she passed in the lower normal. On Wednesday she had another full blood workup and a blood test to once and for all either rule out or diagnose CF. Today, I received her official paper approval from our insurance company giving us a speech and developmental eval and 50 therapy sessions after. We are praying for a miracle of an appt that will allow the eval to be done before SC, just so we know more about where we stand with Riley and what needs to be done as far as therapy.
Port has been in the field and on a tank for the entire week now which has added to the daily stresses. It's super hard not to have the time you need to discuss the big things like bills, kids schooling, travel plans, updates ect. As if communication in a marriage was already challenging enough at times! He's loving his new MOS though which in the long run, allows things to go more smoothly.
Here's to a wonderful week to you all and thanks so much for reading along! Please be sure to actually use the follow caption so I can see who's staying up with us. Love you all!
Nichole
I am one that needs a plan, not a huge routine, but a plan. With a baby like Riley having a routine tends to be more stressful, but a plan is a must for me! EVERYTHING with our lives is still very much up in the air as we continue to wait for orders, Riley's test results ect.
This week Riley had 3 major appointments of which we don't know much about when it comes to results. She had a sweat test for CF on Monday which was useless as for the 4th time, she didn't sweat. She had a hearing test and eval on Tuesday, which she passed in the lower normal. On Wednesday she had another full blood workup and a blood test to once and for all either rule out or diagnose CF. Today, I received her official paper approval from our insurance company giving us a speech and developmental eval and 50 therapy sessions after. We are praying for a miracle of an appt that will allow the eval to be done before SC, just so we know more about where we stand with Riley and what needs to be done as far as therapy.
Port has been in the field and on a tank for the entire week now which has added to the daily stresses. It's super hard not to have the time you need to discuss the big things like bills, kids schooling, travel plans, updates ect. As if communication in a marriage was already challenging enough at times! He's loving his new MOS though which in the long run, allows things to go more smoothly.
Here's to a wonderful week to you all and thanks so much for reading along! Please be sure to actually use the follow caption so I can see who's staying up with us. Love you all!
Nichole
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