It's been too long since I sat down to blog. The summer travels are thankfully over and before I knew it fall/winter in CO has hit. Life has def kept me busy and blogging has sadly fallen down lower and lower on my "to-do list."
I had the amazing opportunity this past week to accompany Leea to a mother-daughter pajama party at her homeschooling school. She attends one full day a week and has so for the past month. Rocky Mountain Classical Academy has really allowed her to blossom in making friends, accepting instruction from an adult that isn't her father or myself, improved her reading skills and has even taught her how to deal with a bully.
Anyway, we went together to the mother-daughter pajama party, just the two of us. That alone was incredible enough. We don't get to do much just the two of us anymore, between church, church activities, family and a younger brother and sister. Daddy rocked out with Carson and Riley while Leea and I enjoyed ourselves at the party.
I sat down at a table with several other moms who were playing card games (all the girls were playing board games together). I was in hopes to make a new friend or two, at least get to know some of the other moms. Many of them have been doing the RMCA program for the past 5 years and I am a newbie. After some light conversation and a few laughs, one of the mom's asked me if I love homeschooling. I myself was surprised at my own hesitation to respond. I didn't know what to say. Why didn't I know what to say? Do I love it? If I do I should just say so. If I don't I need to figure out why and fix it...right?
As I'm having my personal revelation of sorts, another mom not only picked up on but announced my delay in responding. "Oh no,that's real hesitation! Why isn't it going well? Do you not love it?" Following came a wave of aaawwww's and oooohhhh's. Not exactly the first impression I was hoping to make and I needed to recover.
I explained that I have two other kids at home to care for, a very brief summery of Riley's health issues (if there is such a thing) and therapies, being a military wife and how that alone consists of lots of changes. I knew though that I hadn't totally answered the question asked. Do I love homeschooling? Truth is, I constantly beat myself up over what I think homeschooling should be,if I did enough that day, where I lack, the struggles we've had with schooling and a very sick baby for an entire year plus.
Several mom's lent their encouragement and understanding throughout the remainder of the evening. I slowly began to lose the feeling of being a newbie and hurt pride from confessing my less than perfect homeschooling ventures. I heard many other stories from other moms that have been there and done that. But then I realized....
We set out to homeschool our kids because it's about obedience to what we know God has told us to do with our kids. It's about our beliefs, our convictions. It's about the freedoms we have as homeschooling parents. We do what we want, when we want. We do field trips, projects, family time, pj days, sleeping in, getting up early, staying up late, lessons and no lessons. We have the freedom to be together as much as possible, to love every minute of our family being around each other. Somewhere along the way though, I lost sight of those freedoms. I became hard, critical of myself, unforgiving of my weaknesses. I know that isn't at all what God has intended for me to feel. He has blessed me with such freedoms with our kids that many don't have. If I don't love homeschooling, it's because I've yet to embrace those very freedoms. After doing a good bit of soul searching over the last few days on my response or there lack of, I think I really do love it. In fact, I know I do:)
Nichole
