When we said Yes

During Port's last tour to Iraq in 2008, we said yes. We said yes to each other and we said yes to God. We said yes to live a life of being holy, raising our children in God's ways, teaching them of his love. We said yes to having a godly marriage, doing things His way. We aren't perfect and more times that not, it's so stinkin hard.

We got real with each other and with God during this time but we had no idea what laid ahead of us. We didn't know that many times when you say yes to God, what we deal with here on earth can go to crap, fall apart and just be rotten.

We felt God strongly calling us to continue with the army but to really step it up a notch. Our calling is to the military and beyond but really focusing on the military that needs to hear the news of Christ and how He came to save them. We renewed our contract with the army and my personal calling became quite clear. As an army wife I must be an example, a leader to the other ladies. Together Port and I need to show them how good life can be, how you can be in love with your spouse every day, you can raise your kids in a good home, a home where we serve Him and only Him. No matter Port's rank, even if he wasn't an officer, my job is the same and it goes hand in hand with my job here at home.


Since that time we felt God stirring our hearts to home school. We said yes once again and agreed that this was the way for our family. It's been an uphill challenge the whole way as we've dealt with much since making this huge move.

We gave up a baby that we were never able to see and hold but wanted to so badly. God blessed me with a vision of her that I will never have far from my heart. We went thru the most horrible procedure imaginable to us and laid her mentally and spiritually at the alter of God with our church family holding us close.

Port later felt the calling to teach a bible study thru our church but to the college and campus people. For months every week we paid a sitter and met at UCCS with a group of believers and those who didn't. We handed this huge project to another couple who shared in our vision for the group when port received an assignment consisting of schools that would take him away from home.

We were later blessed with our Riley girl who most of you know has had one health issue after another. Leea's schooling has suffered in many ways bc of the time and care Riley needs on a daily basis. Twice we felt God saying to physically her to the alter. The same alter we laid an unborn baby girl named Hannah just a year before. We gave Riley to God, entrusting Him but praying for her healing. We laid her on His alter and took our hands off her, literally to symbolize to us and God that she is totally His.

I gave family members to God to let Him move, taking myself out of the equation until he put me back in. We learned a lot of lessons last year alone about family. It's so hard to know that YOU can't save anyone. They have to want it first. I walked away with my heart in a million pieces in my hands only to wait for months for Port to return so we could deal together. My scars as as fresh today as they were last summer. My hurt continues each day but I don't give up hope. Again, I leaned on my church family. I leaned on my God.

We have endured many physical separations due to the army's calling for Port and what he must fulfill. Most of our biggest family decisions have been made in a series of phone calls and email. It's not really ideal but is the way it must be. Our marriage has had one defining hurdle to overcome non stop for the last 2 1/2 yrs. It seems we have stayed in the fire if you know what I mean. I have prayed at times for a break from it, yet I know that our perseverance glorifies our Father.

My health is the worst it's ever been. Sparing some detail, I continue to pray daily for a healing, that God will either open or shut doors for upcoming surgeries for me.

My point in sharing all of this is not to boast, complain or air our dirty laundry as some may say. My mind for the most part is unable to process and understand all there is concerning spiritual warfare. I only know that it's very real. I can tell you for a fact that our family has dealt with it on a daily basis without relent for what feels like much too long.

In all of this, I know and believe totally that God has allowed every bit for He is our creator and ruler. Our lives are God filtered. It's when the craziness starts, when the trials come, when the pain is so intense I can't breath, when the heat is on so high it burns, that I know we are doing what we should be for Christ.

I encourage you my friends to keep on. Keep on and run the good race. Take comfort in that you are not alone in the trials and problems you face today. It's all temporary and this too will pass. I have seen so many lately back away, turn an assignment down because of fear, because of the unknown, because of the attack you are under. Don't let that be you!

Nichole

momma's happy thoughts list:)

This past year we've been trying to get our 6 yr old to sleep in her own bed, in her room. She has a beautiful room that we've worked so hard on just for her but apparently it takes more than that these days. I've given up for now bc with all our moves/travels it's just too much of a big deal to get bedtimes and kids in their beds. However, back when this momma was on a mission I created a "Leea's Happy Thoughts List." We sat together and she named for me all the things in life that make her feel happy, special, excited, blessed ect.and taped it to on the wall of her room for her to see from her bed. Then I thought, hey I should do the same for myself! So without any further prolonging, I give you, "Momma's Happy Thoughts List."

1) my awesome hubby and I will celebrate 9 yrs of marriage this Sept!

2) at the end of the day, all 3 kiddos just want to be in bed with me!
(pretty amazing considering that they've put up with me all day)

3) I have the best group of friends a girl could ask for!

4) I am married to an inspiring, Godly, caring, generous, driven family man!

5)even in our trials and changes I can see God working in our family and in our home.

6) at the age of 28, I have found the bra I have always been looking for, yay GapBody!

7) my family is complete and my eternity is sealed;)


These are just a few on my list....the cool thing is that I could go on and on! A merry heart produces a thankful spirit! Count your blessings girls!

our tiny rock star ;)

That's right....I said we've got GOOD news! This week Riley had another handful of appointments. We met with a PT therapist on Wednesday who did a PT evaluation of Riley. The goal was to see how often she would need therapy and for what. I was excited about receiving a customized treatment plan for her. After over an hour of talking with the therapist, watching her do lots of neat activities with Riley she gave me her report. Riley is having trouble still with gross motor skills (throwing a ball, sitting with correct posture, waving bye bye) but is a rock star at fine motor skills (putting pennies in a piggy bank, putting cheerios in a tiny bottle, holding a crayon). She will likely need leg and feet braces in the future. She has learned to walk but her balance has been very affected by her ear troubles, resulting in a curved alkalies heel.She has some poor muscle structure, again due to all her sicknesses that will strengthen over time as we work with her. At this time Riley needs no therapy at all, just time to grow and learn!

On Thursday we met with a speech therapist. I was super nervous about this one as Riley doesn't talk at all and she's 15 months! After two hours of watching, talking, listening, and seeing what she can do, we got the report for this one as well. Riley is able to hear but not at a normal level. She can't hear quiet noises. We don't know that this is permanent or not, time will tell. At this time she needs no therapy for this either! We were told again that she just needs time to grow and learn. Because of all her ear troubles her speech is totally delayed but she's pointing and trying to communicate in other ways.

On Friday we met with her pediatrician who looked over all the reports and agrees with the therapists. Riley will be re-evaluated again in 6-12 months with the possibility of leg and feet braces and a food clinic to improve her diet and weight gain.

Today we received the call we've been waiting for, Riley's CF blood test is negative! She has been given the clear to travel to the east coast with no therapies needed. She finally gets to just grow and be a baby. While she doesn't do everything like most other babies or even you and I, her brain is working over time according to the therapists, allowing her to learn quickly and adjust to doing things her own way.

Now I'm down to 8 days before traveling across the east coast with the kiddos and doing even more travels while we are there. I'm making purchases and lists like a mad woman. The kids have their own duffel bags with wheels, travel pillows and art supplies.

I'm asking for your input on 2 things: what is the best way to pack for such a trip where we will be almost constantly traveling for months, suggestions, tips ect. Also, please take a look at the new and improved family blog and let me know what you think of the design, my posts ect. I'm learning a lot and I've changed a lot on the blog and I know I'm not done. Thanks for reading and for your prayers over the last 15 months for our tiny rock star, Riley girl!

A week from Crazyville!

Yep...it's REALLY been that crazy busy around here. Truth be told, I've been working for some time to learn a lesson some of my other mom friends have already seemed to mastered quiet well....figuring out what I need to cut out from our schedules and what to add more of. It's that whole trying to be the best mom and wife you can be thing, lol. My Leea has seemed to imitate me more and more with each day that Port has been gone which is pretty scary but also keeps me on my toes more!

I am one that needs a plan, not a huge routine, but a plan. With a baby like Riley having a routine tends to be more stressful, but a plan is a must for me! EVERYTHING with our lives is still very much up in the air as we continue to wait for orders, Riley's test results ect.

This week Riley had 3 major appointments of which we don't know much about when it comes to results. She had a sweat test for CF on Monday which was useless as for the 4th time, she didn't sweat. She had a hearing test and eval on Tuesday, which she passed in the lower normal. On Wednesday she had another full blood workup and a blood test to once and for all either rule out or diagnose CF. Today, I received her official paper approval from our insurance company giving us a speech and developmental eval and 50 therapy sessions after. We are praying for a miracle of an appt that will allow the eval to be done before SC, just so we know more about where we stand with Riley and what needs to be done as far as therapy.

Port has been in the field and on a tank for the entire week now which has added to the daily stresses. It's super hard not to have the time you need to discuss the big things like bills, kids schooling, travel plans, updates ect. As if communication in a marriage was already challenging enough at times! He's loving his new MOS though which in the long run, allows things to go more smoothly.

Here's to a wonderful week to you all and thanks so much for reading along! Please be sure to actually use the follow caption so I can see who's staying up with us. Love you all!

Nichole

get your yoga on, a new school year already?, prepping for SC trip!

About 4 months ago I found myself sitting with my husband in a doctors office listening to the symptoms check list for fibromyalgia while being poked on several pressure points on my body. This came after nearly a year of suffering from what felt like I had the flu, my body had the WORST aches and pains, wobbly legs, feet and hands that fall asleep all the time, trouble remembering and concentrating ect. My doc handed me a bunch of pills and suggested exercise as a daily routine. Who can do that with 3 kids and no gym membership?! Granted while there are some great medicines that help, most doctors in the US don't recognize fibromyalgia as a real issue for what affects millions of people. I've tried a few different medications and have one now that most of the time is able to aid me in day to day activities. I often struggle in being the "old me" and staying active for our kids. The trick I'm learning though, is to

1) realize that my walk with the Lord, my quiet time, journal time and prayer time with Him will help more than any medicine, therapy ect.

2) my diet can also largely affect how I feel so I must eat better to feel better.

3) yoga and I have become great friends. At first I thought I would never be able to do some of the moves these yoga masters do but it's not so hard once you try! I'm working on a personal commitment to rise early not just for more of the quiet time I need with the Lord, but also to have enough time to do yoga a few times a week. The techniques can help you to relax, just breathe and help you to become more physically fit. It works wonders since most research supports that fibromyalgia is brought on my stress.

I'm also preparing for new year of homeschooling for the Port household.I struggled with when to start since we have travels taking place for the next few months. I know though that the longer we hold off, is the longer we hold off! With a house full of kiddos, you just have to dive in and do it! We had to take off so much time with Leea last year due to Riley's health issues and I really want to take it to the next level for her this year as she begins 1st grade. I also will be schooling Carson for pre-k. So as my work load doubles, so does the fun;)

If all works out well, we are planning on flying out to the east coast to visit with family in just 2 weeks for the next 3 months! We are still waiting on orders to come thru, on Riley's testing to be scheduled, so do continue to keep us in prayer as there are still many decisions to be made for our family.

So to my homeschooling mom friends, let's do it ladies! And to everyone following along, give yoga a try and happy stretching;)

truckin down our bumpy road!

So last week we were told that our orders to Germany were canceled due to the health of our tiny one, Riley girl. This of course all took place on the last business day before a 4 day weekend for the 4th of July. The good news? MY HUBBY WAS HOME!!!!! We spent one super amazing weekend together as a family....aaahhhh he just brings the peace back around here! We had almost an entire day of date time, thanks to a super great sitter, which included an 18 mile bike ride on Santa Fe trail, lunch, smoothies and some REI shopping. The kids and I were terribly sad to see daddy go again!

As we approached the start of a new business week we knew we had to make some serious decisions for our family and for the health of Riley. After days of hard praying, enlisting the help of our church and friends and family that know us best, we felt God was making known a plan for us to follow on. It makes total sense for our family and will keep some calmness around here while allowing us to get the best care possible for Riley.

My husband in all of his awesomeness jumped right on it and has been working way hard non stop to get our plans known and on track with the army. We're back to waiting of course, lol, to see if all pans out with the army, if our plans will be what we hope for but that's ok. I'm totally security oriented so just having a plan to be working on will keep me semi settled enough for now.

In the meantime, my poor kids and husband have paid the price for my ultra high stress levels. I'm quite certain that they feel someone traded their mommy for this insane monster of a lady that just won't chill out.It's amazing my husband still calls, lol! I thank my God every night for the love and forgiveness that my kids have in their tiny hearts, for the commitment my husband has to our marriage. I'm hanging on to my sanity by a thread but none the less, I'm hanging on. God is so faithful and has continued to show up in my life every day, many times a day, giving me His assurance, reminding me of what I am to do now and next. Riley will FINALLY get the care she needs as we have the full attention of the army and plenty of other doctors in CO! The hard part is taking her for all these tests, putting her thru what I would rather do for her and waiting for results to come back. I am reminded tonight from the facebook status of a family member, Aunt Kathy says it best..."little ones to HIM belong, they are weak but HE is strong." Funny how sometimes God can use something as silly as facebook and a children's hymn to speak such volumes to you.

A new assignment

Just as I am finally done with all of our medical appointments for physicals and getting the house packed we learn that the army has cancelled our orders for Germany in November. Riley has been put on EFMP, meaning her medical and health issues are too great for her to travel too far, much less overseas. The army feels that it just isn't safe to take her to Germany. While Port and I agree, it's kinda hard to have so much in limbo. Traveling to the east coast this summer is on stand by as we don't know if I will need to be packing the house by then to PCS elsewhere or if we will be staying in CO. New orders could take just a short amount of time or could drag out into weeks and weeks. We have options we are looking at and pray to have some good news for our family soon.

In the meantime, Riley has a hearing test along with a few other tests to try and rule out what could be a deeper issue somewhere within her tiny body. She's had none to very little growth from her 12 to 15 month well baby exams, isn't speaking at all and has yet to hit a 15 month developmental milestone. There is talk of putting her in speech and developmental therapy, depending on what some further testing reveals.

There is much uncertain for us at this time. All we really understand is that we were willing to go to Germany if that's where the LORD wanted us, that He now has different plans for us, that our Riley girl is going to begin getting the care she needs, and that our God has good plans for us, created to help us grow and prosper (Jeremiah 29:11), that He works all things for the good for those who love him (Romans 8:28), and that our family is even more army strong, more in love with each other than we were a week ago.