When we said Yes

During Port's last tour to Iraq in 2008, we said yes. We said yes to each other and we said yes to God. We said yes to live a life of being holy, raising our children in God's ways, teaching them of his love. We said yes to having a godly marriage, doing things His way. We aren't perfect and more times that not, it's so stinkin hard.

We got real with each other and with God during this time but we had no idea what laid ahead of us. We didn't know that many times when you say yes to God, what we deal with here on earth can go to crap, fall apart and just be rotten.

We felt God strongly calling us to continue with the army but to really step it up a notch. Our calling is to the military and beyond but really focusing on the military that needs to hear the news of Christ and how He came to save them. We renewed our contract with the army and my personal calling became quite clear. As an army wife I must be an example, a leader to the other ladies. Together Port and I need to show them how good life can be, how you can be in love with your spouse every day, you can raise your kids in a good home, a home where we serve Him and only Him. No matter Port's rank, even if he wasn't an officer, my job is the same and it goes hand in hand with my job here at home.


Since that time we felt God stirring our hearts to home school. We said yes once again and agreed that this was the way for our family. It's been an uphill challenge the whole way as we've dealt with much since making this huge move.

We gave up a baby that we were never able to see and hold but wanted to so badly. God blessed me with a vision of her that I will never have far from my heart. We went thru the most horrible procedure imaginable to us and laid her mentally and spiritually at the alter of God with our church family holding us close.

Port later felt the calling to teach a bible study thru our church but to the college and campus people. For months every week we paid a sitter and met at UCCS with a group of believers and those who didn't. We handed this huge project to another couple who shared in our vision for the group when port received an assignment consisting of schools that would take him away from home.

We were later blessed with our Riley girl who most of you know has had one health issue after another. Leea's schooling has suffered in many ways bc of the time and care Riley needs on a daily basis. Twice we felt God saying to physically her to the alter. The same alter we laid an unborn baby girl named Hannah just a year before. We gave Riley to God, entrusting Him but praying for her healing. We laid her on His alter and took our hands off her, literally to symbolize to us and God that she is totally His.

I gave family members to God to let Him move, taking myself out of the equation until he put me back in. We learned a lot of lessons last year alone about family. It's so hard to know that YOU can't save anyone. They have to want it first. I walked away with my heart in a million pieces in my hands only to wait for months for Port to return so we could deal together. My scars as as fresh today as they were last summer. My hurt continues each day but I don't give up hope. Again, I leaned on my church family. I leaned on my God.

We have endured many physical separations due to the army's calling for Port and what he must fulfill. Most of our biggest family decisions have been made in a series of phone calls and email. It's not really ideal but is the way it must be. Our marriage has had one defining hurdle to overcome non stop for the last 2 1/2 yrs. It seems we have stayed in the fire if you know what I mean. I have prayed at times for a break from it, yet I know that our perseverance glorifies our Father.

My health is the worst it's ever been. Sparing some detail, I continue to pray daily for a healing, that God will either open or shut doors for upcoming surgeries for me.

My point in sharing all of this is not to boast, complain or air our dirty laundry as some may say. My mind for the most part is unable to process and understand all there is concerning spiritual warfare. I only know that it's very real. I can tell you for a fact that our family has dealt with it on a daily basis without relent for what feels like much too long.

In all of this, I know and believe totally that God has allowed every bit for He is our creator and ruler. Our lives are God filtered. It's when the craziness starts, when the trials come, when the pain is so intense I can't breath, when the heat is on so high it burns, that I know we are doing what we should be for Christ.

I encourage you my friends to keep on. Keep on and run the good race. Take comfort in that you are not alone in the trials and problems you face today. It's all temporary and this too will pass. I have seen so many lately back away, turn an assignment down because of fear, because of the unknown, because of the attack you are under. Don't let that be you!

Nichole